I graduated high school summa cum laude, with a seal of biliteracy, a part of national honors society, a link crew leader, and just about any reward you can think of. I took almost every AP and honors class I could, while working up to 20 hours per week my senior year. I also made sure to volunteer 4 hours a week almost every Sunday since 7th grade. I had all these achievements, but this was probably the worst period of my life.
When I started college, I thought I would never burn out. I always thought I would want every achievement and would get it. Maybe not every single one, but at least 9 out of 10. But this past June I graduated with a 3.74 GPA and a bachelor of arts in biological science, something I think past Flora would regard as a failure. I did fine, maybe even great my first year of college not quite getting that 4.0 but a high 3.9 GPA. Then came organic chemistry. This was the first class I honestly really struggled with. Even with hours of studying, tests were difficult. It did not help that this was also the year that was completely online, when everyone was constantly waiting to see if classes were going to be in person at all. During that year, I was able to reflect on a lot of aspects of my life, including my academic drive. This is not to say that I no longer tried in school, but mostly that getting a B was not going to be the end of the world. At some point during my sophomore year I also decided I would not try to continue the pre-med path. This definitely released a lot of pressure for me.
Part of me misses the drive for academic validation and seeing all of the high marks I would always get. The impression that I probably left on my peers that I must be intelligent because of my numbers probably also had an effect on that drive. But I am so glad I have learned to be more lax. I think those are all my thoughts on this. There is no way for me to tell someone how to change their mindset, but I am just glad mine has changed.
P.S. I will admit the picture for this post is of my last quarter at UCSB because it was the only quarter I had a 4.0, even if it was only for 2 classes.